Burnt Pretzels and Misplaced Euphoria

The "Big" Game

2012-02-03T08:18:00.000-08:00

Don't know if you've noticed, but saying "S.B." is strictly forbidden in advertising. Yes, radio, tv, and etc can say things like "The Big Game" but they cannot utter the title of what is happening this Sunday. Also, they can only say that New York and New England are playing but can't name the teams. This, to me, is utterly hilarious. Being a Ravens fan, you can't expect me to look forward to Sunday or call it a Big game at all. Infact, I expect record low ratings for the game. As for who I'm rooting for, well, Go GIANTS! Not because I like the Giants...but because I hate the Patriots! Even though I must admit that my favorite moment during the Ravens/Patriots game was when Brady got upset and put his hands on his hips and moved his head back and forth, just like a scorned woman.

I knew he had the rep for being feminine, but I had never witnessed it firsthand before that day. I did teach my cat how to sit like him...

As for the Ravens, well I heard we aren't getting a new kicker. I guess in some way I have to respect Billy Cundiff for being brave enough to stay in a city where everyone hates him. Especially Baltimore, since 1 in 5 people (or more?) carry weapons.

Mio Attack

2012-01-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

Since one of my New Years resolutions is to eat better and not waste too much money by going out to lunch (I used to go out every day!), I decided to try out the Mio Liquid to add to water since we have free bottled water available near my office. Well, trying to squeeze it led to a 'Mio attack'...it shot out everywhere on my desk, staining a piece of paper on my desk and staining my hand! The fact that it stains skin made me think "hm, what does it do to your stomach?" I figured I would jump on here and share my experience to let other consumers know that Mio is some kind of toxic skin staining chemical...so be weary of drinking it! I purchased the Sweet Tea flavor.

Christmas Cheer

2011-12-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

Hi all! Well it's been WAY too long since I've updated the blog (over a year infact!). I now have so many changes, updates, and of course anecdotes for you. The first big change is that I got a new job in March. I now work in a giant garage (literally, there's a bus right in front of my office). I love it here! I also own a catdog who I rescued from SPCA in August named Lucille Claw (yes, I am a huge Lucille Ball fan and have come up with a very clever way of naming my cat after her...be jealous). I have come to find that Lucy is a hybrid catdog, with personality traits of kitty and puppy at the same time. Here is her first 'portrait' weighing in at a massive 2.1 lbs. She now weighs 8lbs. Kids grow up so darn fast. I will definitely be sharing stories of her insanity in future blog posts

For 2012, I have signed up for a floral design class because I've come to realize I enjoy making flower arrangements and I sort of have a knack for it. As a shameless self plug, pictures of ones I've made so far are below:

First One:
For my Aunts Beach House:
Simple arrangement for my office:
Housewarming gift for a friend:
Wreath for my front door:

The Tragedy of the Week

2010-09-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this post to save all of you from making the tragic mistake I made last week. Let me explain. I was in the mood for a delicious milk shake, a nice chocolatey cup of joy that I could savor after the long work day. Rarely do I treat myself to such joys. It was pretty late at night, so not much was open. I thought to myself "O, I bet Burger King has milkshakes!" (Little did I know this thought was mistake #1). I went through the drive thru and ordered a medium chocolate milkshake, then went to the window to receive a large cup instead. I was instantly excited that I had paid for the medium and got 'upgraded' to the large for free. I was so eager to vask in my delicious large chocolate treat, but upon first sip...NO! It tasted like straight syrup. Instead of the medium milkshake I ordered, I got a large milkSUCK. That's this week's lesson kids, don't go to Burger King for milkshakes. Your heart will be broken and you'll wish you had your $3 back.

MacGyver

2010-09-10T08:05:00.001-07:00

Hi friends,

Today I had what we all dream and desire to have in our lives. Some of us strive for it every day, some of us yearn for it in our sleep. We know if it doesn't happen then life was not at 100%. Sure, we could get to 95%, but the last 5% is all about the MacGyver moment.

This morning I put on a purple shirt (it's purple friday, duh!) and was told, once I got to work, that I had a hideous stain on my right sleeve (by my shoulder). This was not just a normal little stain (my first thought was that I spilled the pumpkin latte I had this morning on myself...mmmm pumpkin) but no, this stain is HUGE and evil. It is more brown than Michael Jackson was as a kid (am I allowed to still make fun of him even though he died?). So what did I do? I had a MACGYVER MOMENT.

I retrieved a paperclip from my desk drawer, rolled up my sleeve, and placed the paper clip underneath so you can't see it. AMAZING. I am very impressed with myself, but I really owe it to MacGyver for the inspiration. Thanks buddy.

Amish Gone Wild

2010-08-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

Okay so it's been WAY too long since I've written anything. I have really failed. I'm like the kid that gets picked last in gym class...or the pimple that won't go away on prom night....or that itch you can't scratch in public. I apologize, and will try to remedy this with a post tonight.

Tonight I was talking to a friend of mine who lives in Amish country. Yes, she's that cool. She said the following statement: "It's Amish Sunday, every horse and buggy is on the road!" As many of you know, I have a random and quirky mind. This caused me to think "What would happen if Amish went wild?" Here's what I came up with.

1. They'd turn on a light
2. Amish women would expose skin (i.e. an elbow, or even worse...a shoulder!)
3. Hay wouldn't just be for horses (if ya know what I mean)
4. They'd be like "F*** You, Butter!" And switch to I can't Believe it's Not Butter
5. They'd be like "F*** You, God!" and skip church on Sunday
6. Instead of riding in the buggy they'd give the buggy a ride
7. They'd be like "Dude I blacked out last night!" when in reality they just never lit any candles
8. Instead of just cows they'd milk everything just for the hell of it (mmm mm mm for the smell of it....Shoop reference)
9. Amish guys would walk up to girls and be like "Hey girl, I wanna go "pasteurize" tonight...get it? say it slowly...bam!
10. 'Rumspringa' will become a beloved cocktail

Those are just a few of the ways that Amish could go wild...hope you enjoyed :)

The Swishy Stealer

2010-05-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

I write to you today as a victim of a horrendous crime. I was going to get gas for my car, and looked at the windows realizing they were in need of the swishy (ya know, the brush gas stations offer to clean your car...I named it the swishy because it makes the water swish away from your windows...yea, you think it's weird now but you'll be calling it that soon enough). Anyway, I looked in the swishy container that was right next to MY gas pump, and it was empty. I figured the station had taken it out, or maybe it had gone to swishy heaven. NO! A moment later an old guy, like old enough to be Joan Rivers husband old, comes by with the swishy. I think, again, that now he is going to give it back as he sees that my adorable self and car are in need of a swishy. NO! He simply dips it into the water, then takes it AGAIN over to HIS gas pump on the other side of the station! WTF people...W T F. I felt very violated. It is so wrong to take a swishy, so wrong.

Larry King: America's Sexiest Bachelor

2010-04-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

I had been spending my days like all single girls...eating ice cream, crying, and watching Oprah...feeling meaningless in today's world when ALAS! News that would change my life forever came to surface. Larry King, the sexiest man in America, is going to be the next "Bachelor." Of course, upon hearing this news I jumped with glee, put on my best pair of red pumps, and went to apply for the show...online. How so you attract a winner like Larry King? I figured I'd start by mentioning that eight is my favorite number, so it must be meant to be. Below is my love poem that I submitted for Larry.

Dear Larry,

I like the number eight,
It must be fate!
With or without the eye patch,
You're the perfect catch!
You've aged like wine,
I'm a sucker for those age lines!
You always look great in the news,
After I've had a lot of booze!
Yes Larry, this is our time,
Please accept my proposal within this rhyme

Love Always,

Lucky Number 8

Tiger or me...Who's getting their Masters in 2010?

2010-04-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't watch the Masters Tournament today. I had much more important things to do like sleep, talk on the phone, and procrastinate with my school work. Hello! However, I did catch the buzz that Tiger came in 4th at the tournament. This made me content. I happen to believe in karma, and the dude who won seems like a nice guy. I don't know much about him, but he seems to be faithful to his wife. That's more than some other golfers can say. Some readers may argue that Tiger did apologize, and/or that his personal life shouldn't interfere what you think of his golf game. I'd like to point out that Tiger himself is now in the horrible Nike ad where he uses his dead Dad's voice "reprimanding" him to sell some sneakers. I'm sure Dad's ghost is pissed that he's not seeing those royalties.

As far as golf goes, I'll stick to the miniature kind. Much less scandalous. And I'll still get a Masters this year. Sorry Tiger.

Infestation of Germs

2010-03-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

It's the second day of Spring...birds are singing, trees and plants are coming back to life, and students everywhere are exposing me to germs. Let me explain. Last week was our Spring Break on campus. I had a week of relaxing work, no class, easy to find parking spaces, and much more. Unfortunately Spring Break ended yesterday. I was first reminded that all students are back when the parking lot was at its normal capacity this morning (thank GOODNESS I have a faculty/staff parking permit)! The second friendly reminder was when I almost got hit on the pedestrian crossing by students who speed through those. The third reminder, even better, was when I went to the bathroom before class and had to listen to the girl in the next stall getting sick. Now, there is a strong reason that I am not in the medical profession...I get queasy really easily. Hearing that made me feel nauseous all day. Then I get to class and there are students coughing all around me. At work, there's a kid sitting two cubes over who is coughing up a lung. Germs are back, and they are everywhere!

Attitude

2010-03-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

Had the fortune of reading this today at work. It is now one of my favorite things so I couldn't resist but to share :).

The longer I live
The more I realize the impact of
Attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important
Than the past,
Than education,
Than money,
Than circumstances,
Than failures,
Than success,
Than what other people
Think or say or do.

It is more important than
Appearance,
Giftedness or skill.
It will make or break
An organization,
A school, a home.

The remarkable thing is
We have a choice every day
Regarding the attitude
We will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that
People will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do
Is play the string we have.
And that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is
10 percent what happens to me and
90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you.

--- By Charles Swindell

What happened to dreaming in real life?

2010-03-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

I just caught myself. Realized that when I was young I used to dream all the time. I wanted to be an actress for years. I wanted to be a dancer. I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. I had a mad crush on my gym teacher in elementary school (which explains my current crush on George Clooney...I have a thing for older men). Currently, I have been saying "I hope to get a job after May" or "I hope I do well on this test next week." Yes, these are responsibilities. There is no fantasy attached. I'm not saying that adults should live in a fantasy world (I know some do, hello Star Trek exbos) but I am saying that I need to incorporate some of that dreaming back into my life. Hell, I have the word dream tattooed on me and I am letting it down right now.

So, in effort to reconnect with dreaming, I would like to become a published author. I have not decided if I will remain anonymous. I'd like to be the person people call when they are looking for a good speaker for public events. I want to be in a commercial of some sort...don't have to even talk, I'd settle for being in the background. Or a music video, or movie. I want to go to Ireland and make friends with people from the country who have awesome accents.

What are your dreams?

And the Oscar for Most Awkward goes to....

2010-03-07T19:27:00.001-08:00

Watching the Oscars, and as Kristen Stewart comes up to present I think to myself "Okay, did they not see her on any other award show?!" She continually displays an innate awkwardness and inability to get through one sentence in front of a live audience. She also looks completely miserable while going through this painful moment. At this year's Oscars she continued scratching the back of her head and then awkwardly fake coughed during the middle of her sentence. Seriously, look at her picture. The chick does NOT look thrilled to be there. Due to this, I award her 2010's Oscar for "Best Awkward Actress"

My second Oscar for "Best Supporting Awkward Actress" goes to Cameron Diaz. Now, I happen to not be a huge fan of Cameron Diaz (come on now, how different are her characters in each movie?) so this may come off as ever so slightly biased (I know, me, biased? Hard to believe). But dear Cameron was awkwardly tall this year. Now I respect tall girls as I am one myself but Cameron must have worn some crazy heels because she towered over everyone and looked like the jolly gold giant instead of the model look she was probably striving for. It was really fun to watch people try to interview her, while their head was right at her chest and they were stretching their neck upward and extending their arm fully to accomplish communication :).

Psychology Results

2010-03-05T15:27:00.000-08:00

I'm in a PSYCH class this semester as my elective and we took two personality tests as a part of it: the NEO PI R and the Myers Briggs. I thought my blog readers (all 5 of you) might find my results semi-interesting.

The NEO is scored in five categories: OCEAN. I scored really high in Neuroticism (no shock there!) but as much as I call myself neurotic, it actually means that I react to things emotionally, which is true. Next was extroversion, where I scored on the low average side...totally agree with that as I refer to myself as an "outgoing introvert." After that is Openness, I scored low haha. I was a little disappointed with myself because I know I used to be pretty judgmental but thought I had opened up pretty well in recent years. Looks like I still have some work to do. Next was agreeableness, I scored low on that too...ha. Wasn't a shock because I am not quick at all to trust people and almost always have my guard up. Last is consciousness, and I scored low on that too (what the heck?!). This was a bit of a surprise at first, but then I realized yea...I really have no order in my life if I am left on my own (take now, when I was being productive then tuned on Pandora and started typing this blog). So basically, the NEO confirmed that I am literally a hot mess...which I already knew :).

Myers Briggs scored me as INFP- Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceptive. All fit me extremely well. Once again, I scored high in reacting emotionally and low on use of logical/rational thinking :-p. Definitely makes sense, I mean look at my past posts! I would never want to change though, that's the sick thing!

Cross Country Ski Racing- About as much fun as watching paint dry

2010-02-26T12:57:00.001-08:00

I happened to catch a bit of the Olympics while out last night and had forgotten about my least favorite sport. Cross Country Skiing. Why? Because they look like they're just walking...on skis. Where is the fun? Where are the jumps? Where is the 90mph? These types of things are what I expect to watch when I turn on the Olympics. Cross Country Ski Racing is dreadfully painful to view. It makes me wonder why people want to do it, and want to pursue it professionally. Did they think to themselves "Well, walking is my best skill...I think I'll be a Cross Country Skier?" How does that thought process come about?

Now if I were in the Olympics, of course I'd pick Curling. Curling is where it's at. I'd be one of the broom people that spaz out on the ice. That is what the Olympics is really all about. You may argue that curling does not have the speed or jumps I was previously referencing. HOWEVER, curling makes up for it with a massive level of intensity. You can see what I mean by viewing the picture below.

Ladies Room

2010-02-23T18:13:00.001-08:00

Today while in the Ladies bathroom I felt inspired to clump girls into category based on bathroom behavior. I have such an odd, random mind. Enjoy :).

O, if you are a male reading this, let me know if any apply to a Male Bathroom as well!

The Ladies Room
The Ladies Room is an interesting watering hole where one can witness unique behavior. Below are some of the types you may find within:

1. The Speedster
These girls go to the bathroom like dudes. In, out, no lollygagging.

2. The Frequent Visitor
This person is in the bathroom ALL the time. Maybe they live there?

3. The Cringer
Cringers are the opposite of the Frequent Visitor. They believe that girls should not be in the bathroom, and they cringe if sited by someone they know.

4. The Lollygagger
The Lollygagger is a girl who has done her business but refuses to leave the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror and constantly examining her hair, this girl is hard for the Speedster to get around.

5. The Quaint Crapper
This girl has to drop it bad, but is afraid (because due to common sexism rules girls are not allowed to do that). So, this girl tries to cover up what she is really doing with other noises.

6. The Staller
Similar to the Lollygagger, this girl remains in the stall even after the toilet is flushed for an enormously long amount of time.

7. The Vain
A step up from the Lollygagger. This girl finds the bathroom the perfect place to perform her beauty rituals (i.e.: makeup application, etc).

8. The Yapper
Yappers often travel in groups, and talk to each other all the way to the bathroom, while in the stalls, and by the sinks. Often annoy the Lollygaggers.

Stage 5 Clinger: Aftermath

2010-02-22T13:19:00.001-08:00

Hi Kids,

Well, you may notice that my blog name has changed. There is a reason for this: trying to avoid the Stage 5 Clinger.

Basically, BEFORE I even went out on one date with this guy, he kept texting me several times throught the day. I was busy, as I often am, and did not care to respond to every single message. We were going to hang out the next day, but he later said "I haven't heard much from you, so if you changed your mind about hanging out that is okay." I thought wow, dude, I only waited a few hours to text you back...and this was a Saturday, when you knew I was busy. Wowzers. Despite my better sense, I went out with him any way (Why? Because I need to learn lessons the hard way) and thought I clearly established by the end of the date that I was not feeling him but would be open to being friends (despite the clinginess from the day before, I had a really good time hanging out with him and was genuine when I said that). Apparently that didn't translate well because at first he responded saying he couldn't be friends with me for a while, and about five minutes later asked if I wanted to come over so he could make me dinner tomorrow night. Say wha??? I said no, that would make me uncomfortable, and again repeated that we could hang out as friends later in the week. He seemed okay. This morning I get an email from him calling me Babe and etc, and when I wrote back reminding him of the conversation we had last night, he said he was confused. I responded saying look, I think it's a bad idea for us to hang out because you seem to have misintepreted what I said last night. He said "I thought I was clear, it's the best idea for us to never talk again." Haha, wow, so dramatic!

Any way, as a result, I changed the name of the blog to make it harder for him to find. Note to guys out there: please learn from this and take a hint the first time. It is so painful when us girls try to be nice and we get psychoism in return. Man, guys can really learn from my horrible dating experiences :). I hate dating, have I said that before? I hope he doesn't find this new blog :).

Positive Thinking Update

2010-02-21T19:53:00.000-08:00

By the way, Thursday I got some very good news from school. Both of my bossed really want me to work at school after graduation so I am really hoping for something to pull through. I also randomly ran into one of my coworkers today and she told me that another guy I want to work for approached her and mentioned that he is interested in having me work for him (still at school). So exciting :)! I am doing all I can to picture myself getting that job offer I want. Positive thinking :)!

Changing the World: One thought at a time

2010-02-17T13:18:00.000-08:00

For Lent this year I've decided to give up negative thinking and focus on the positive. This is an endeavor that a good friend and I are taking on together, and I think it will be great to see the difference in can make in our lives within the next 40 days. I plan to blog about the positive results I receive because of this endeavor.

I'm doing this because I've realized that I'm naturally drawn to doubting/insulting myself (for instance, on Monday I made a simple mistake at work and without even thinking blurted out "I'm an idiot" to my boss). Afterward, it bothered me that I am so quick to be mean to myself, whereas if that would have been a friend or coworker, I would have been sitting there telling them how great they were. I really want to focus on the great, positive things I have in my life and see what can happen with a focus on positive energy. Will everyday be perfect? No, that's not what this is about. This is about thinking positive, and believing in yourself. I encourage everyone to try the same. Hopefully some great things will happen in the next 40 days to convince people that this works.

Kayaking to Taiwan

2010-02-16T13:05:00.000-08:00

As part of my job I maintain a project database and someone just put in a project happening overseas. The website features a map so I thought it would be fun to include an address in Taiwan as a fun visual. I just Google map directions from here to Taiwan, and I LOVED my results:

Driving directions to Taiwan
11,759 mi – about 39 days 5 hours
Suggested routes

37. Turn right at NE Northlake Way 1.0 mi
38. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean 2,756 mi
39. Continue straight 0.1 mi
40. Turn left at Kuilima Dr 0.5 mi
41. Take the 3rd right onto HI-83 W/Kamehameha Hwy 12.4 mi
42. Continue onto HI-99 S 8.6 mi
43. Take the Interstate H2 S ramp to Honolulu 0.2 mi
44. Merge onto I-H-2 S 7.9 mi
45. Merge onto I-H-1 E 4.7 mi
46. Take exit 13B toward Halawa Hts. Stadium 0.3 mi
47. Merge onto I-H-201 E 4.1 mi
48. Merge onto I-H-1 E 4.1 mi
49. Take exit 23 for Punahou St toward Waikiki/Manoa 0.2 mi
50. Turn right at Punahou St 0.1 mi
51. Take the 1st right onto S Beretania St 0.1 mi
52. Take the 1st left onto Kalakaua Ave 1.9 mi
53. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean 3,879 mi

I hope you noticed #38 and #53...I have to kayak across the Pacific Ocean, twice! Where do you expect me to find a kayak in February, Google?

Superbowl Win, Commercials Fail

2010-02-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

The Superbowl was a win as Saints triumphed over the Colts (I'm a Baltimore Ravens fan, and it's in my blood to hate the Colts). Despite this, Superbowl commercials this year left much to be desired. Sure, there were a few funnies ( I did like the budlight voicebox commercial because I get amused easily), but nothing that really broke the mold and made me wanna run out, risk my life in the massive snow, and buy their product. It seemed like budlight had about 500 commercials...a bit much.

In other news, we have 30" of snow outside which is 30" too many. I now look at snow the way I would imagine an 80 year old man who can't really see and just fractured his hip looks at snow...its not my friend. I don't exactly have a 4 wheel drive vehicle, nor do I own a shovel, so blizzards and I don't really get along. I'm quite antsy for spring....St. Pattys Day, warmth, St. Pattys Day, flowers blooming, St. Pattys Day....did I say St. Pattys Day?

FML x2

2010-01-30T21:40:00.001-08:00

So I just put my face into one of those celebrity lookalike website for the popular Doppelganger week on Facebook. It told me I look like Josh Groban. FML.

Dream log: Submission 1

2010-01-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

I decided to start keeping a dream log because my dreams are hella weird yet very entertaining. I will also include various definitions from my favorite dream dictionary, www.dreammoods.com.

Last night I dreamt that one of my friends was having a party at her parent's place. I wanted to go, but I had busted my right knee and had to be on crutches (this has significance because I really did bust my right knee in 8th grade and was on crutches for a while). Somehow, I drove my car but once I got off the highway I couldn't remember how to get to her house. For some reason I was doing the dude thing of driving around aimlessly instead of asking for directions :-p. Once I finally remembered, traffic was horrible and I was super late for the party at this point. I decided to park about a mile away and hobble up a road while it was pouring down rain. I planned on asking my friend for a ride back to my car after the party, haha.

Here are the interpretations:

Driving
To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals.�If you are driving on a curvy road, then it indicates that you are have difficulties in achieving your goals and the changes associated with it.�Alternatively, driving a car in your dream, is analogous to your sex life and sexual performance. Consider how you are driving and what kind of car you are driving and how it relates to your waking sex life.

Lost
To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing.

Rain
To dream that you get wet from the rain, indicates cleansing from your troubles and problems. Rain also symbolizes fertility and renewal.

Crutches
To dream that you are on crutches, signifies your need to lean on others for help. Perhaps you are acting helpless in order to get out of some situation or obligation.

I think the Driving Interpretation is hilarious. What does that say since I was driving with a busted knee? Hmm. The Lost thing I can see to be true because I am definitely worried about finding a job before graduating in May. I guess it's good I'm fertile, thanks rain. Also, I can't figure out what I am leaning on others for...I'm stubbornly independent by nature and hate asking for help.

FML

2010-01-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

Today I put (what I thought was) two pieces of solid chocolate in my pocket this afternoon at work, then forgot bout them....then they melted in my pocket. Best part, they had peanut butter in them. I hate peanut butter and now smell like it and so does my room...FML :).

I'm 26, and I still do these things :). I can't help laughing and thinking what if this happened right before a job interview. Nothing says "hire me" like melted chocolate in the pocket.

Bad Football Weekend

2010-01-17T20:19:00.000-08:00

Well, the Ravens really did it this time. Came out playing strong in the first quarter, giving us fans a false sense of hope. Then by the second quarter they started to majorly suck...got dumb penalties and made stupid decisions. The highlight of my night was that I had pretty awesome chicken tenders at the bar where I was watching...at least I got something good out of those few hours :-p. I

In other news, I'm watching Food Network and they're making ravioli, yum. I really wish I could cook. Now that I see them making it, I want to make it. But then I think about everything that realistically involves...buying all the ingredients at the store, taking all the prep and cook time and etc, and I think I'm just too lazy when I know I can call the italian place right up the street and get great ravioli for $7 (WITH garlic bread I might add). Now I really want ravioli...

Holy Random

2010-01-13T14:23:00.000-08:00

The weirdest thing happened today proving to me that my life is hella random and hilarious. My sister and I are in the same class at college this semester. Sure that sounds like it happens all the time, but let me explain the events that had to occur for this to happen. For my program, I have to take one elective. I can pick from a variety of fields (Psychology, Sociology, Art, Literature, Womens Studies, etc). I decided to try out a Womens Studies class last semester but I hated it, so I dropped it after the first night. I decided to wait and take the elective this semester, and was trying to decide between Sociology or Psychology. I decided on two different Psychology courses, but I had to email each professor to get permission to enter the class. Both got back to me, so I then had to narrow it down to one. My sister is a Psych major whose advisor gave her certain classes to pick from and she picked the same class! Turns out that my Dad who teaches on campus is in the room next door around the same time too...ha!

Go RAVENS!

2010-01-09T22:05:00.000-08:00

Playoffs Round #1 tomorrow :)

LARPing in 2010

2010-01-09T13:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Blog,

I am so sorry for neglecting you in 2009. You see, I lost a bit of myself for a while and wasn't writing, but I'm back in 2010, better than ever! I'm like the Phoenix that rose from the ashes...except I really don't like smoke so I guess I'm not a phoenix. I would say I'm a newborn baby but babies are annoying after a while like when they start crying and etc so I guess I don't want to compare myself to a baby. I'll say I'm one of those flowers that dies in the winter then grows back in the spring...which ones do that? Maybe I should garden...that would get me domestic points. Right now I'm at 0 domestic points.

Sincerely,

Me

Any way, as usual, my dating life is a hot mess. I decided I shouldn't date for a while then I did, which is what I usually do, Recently I went out with this guy who was smart, handsome, etc but there was one huge flaw...he LARPed. That's right kids, he dressed up like a knight in random forests and saved damsels in distress. Even though I enjoyed the Medieval Times restaurant when I went (once) I don't think I could date feeling like every night was a night at that place. As much as every girl wants to feel like a princess, I think it would get old. I can only wear dresses every so often and my hair isn't nearly long enough.

Falling into fall

2009-09-28T20:17:00.001-07:00

So long, September! September for me was an interesting month. As annual tradition my allergies attacked. Work got busier and school started which means I lost my awesome fast commute in exchange for dealing with tons of traffic and underclassmen, le sigh. September also brought out a monumental occasion...my first fall in the middle of a college campus. That's right kids, I went to undergrad for four years...walked across a horribly icy bridge during the winter time for an entire year and the only time I ever fell was right in front of my own apartment (which faced off campus so it didn't count). O no, this fall definitely triumphed.

I had a great day...the kinda day where I was just asking for it. Work went well in the morning, class went well in the afternoon, then I had a great discussion after class with my professor. Well, leaving the academic building and somehow I missed the step out front. Next thing I knew...WHAM! I was on the ground with my books sprawled out next to me. It was like the classic campus freshman falls during a 1980s film moment. I got a massive bruise that is my latest battle scar and is still there now.

I guess I was falling into fall.

I guess he was haPEE they won

2009-09-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

Went to my first Orioles game tonight...great weather :). The Os played he Red Sox and lost (as expected). The highlight of this evening, however, came in the most unexpected way. When I got home, I uploaded the pic I took of me and two friends at the game. Little did I know (until seeing the picture) what was behind us...

That's right kids, root for the wrong team and karma gets ya back....big time. This makes me smile :).

Life is good

2009-09-01T13:22:00.001-07:00

Hi all! Well I have a positive update that life is going good! I have a good job, nice internship, school just started and I like my classes (after dropping the horrible one I had last night and replacing it with a good one). Most importantly, reality tv is getting back into full swing! That's right, there's only 18 days left until The Hills. Until then, I will survive on loves such as Project Runway, Top Chef, and Real World.

This past weekend I went to Virginfest for the first time...apparently it's not a christian festival promoting abstinence (damn). My new claim to fame is that, while there, Richard Branson almost tripped right over me. I really wish he would have actually fallen on me because right now I could be a millionaire. Instead I am living on dreams and spaghettios (yea yea, country music reference). Highlights of Virginfest included shrinky dink art, where you colored in an image and they put in an oven which shrunk it down, that was pretty awesome and made me think of Back to the Future (the magic pizza was always my favorite scene), getting free t-shirts (which we used as blankets) from the Dickies dude who was akwardly flirting with every female, and a girl falling out of a tree. Kids, leave tree climbing to the monkeys...or don't, because that was damn funny :).

Airport woes

2009-07-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't updated this in FOREVER but I had to share what happened to me at the airport today. My Dad (who was driving me there) and I left a few mins later then planned. As a result, I arrived at the check-in right at 11:30, 43 mins before my flight was to depart. Apparently, with a certain airline (I don't want to call them out or anything ::coughUS Airwayscough::), you HAVE to be there at least 45 mins in advance to check your bag. I stood there for a good 15 mins or so while they told me they couldn't check my bag and put me on the flight and they tried to get me on another flight. All the sudden, they said they COULD put me on the flight so then I had to run (not kidding you or exaggerating) the whole entire distance of the BWI airport, as my flight was literally at the last gate (figures!) I get to the last gate to see no airport staff and no planes in sight, so I'm thinking WTF?! I see a traffic controller and he says my flight must be at this other gate, so I go there and at that point it's already about 12:19, so they tell me I'm not there in time to get on the plane. Luckily they still let me on and I made it to the plan with about 5 mins to spare...phew! I got my cardio in for the day, that's for sure!

I look at this as hey I got to reinact one of the scenes from my favorite movies (Home Alone). I have never been so close to missing a flight, and I've come close before ;).

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

Some interesting things happened this Easter weekend. First, I went to the place where I used to work to visit (I hadn't gone in for a few months because I HATE my old boss...but I heard she wouldn't be there that day) and I was told by an old coworker that I had gained weight. Yes, I'm built skinny, but still...you don't say that to a woman! It really threw off my morning. While I was there my old boss unepectedly came in, and so I managed to run out the door before she saw me...phew!

Later that night I was out to the movies with a friend (we saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop which I recommend to anyone who gets amused as easily as I do) and as we're driving to get something to eat, we notice that there's three guys mounted up on crosses who were dressed like Jesus. Quite interesting. They were still "chillin" there when we drove back a bit later, so I am curious to know how long they stayed total.

The other interesting thing occured Saturday evening when I was out in an area where I hadn't been before downtown. I saw a huge statue, and asked if it was supposed to be a storm trooper (from Star Wars). After asking I was told that no, it was actually a statue dedicated to Scientology. Seriously, Tom Cruise, WTF?

California stops

2009-03-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

So last night I went out with two gal pals to celebrate St. Pattys Day, and we couldn't find parking near where we wanted to go so we decided to park in a close by area then take a cab ride back to the original place. Well, while driving I get pulled over and I'm thinking "WTF?" Next thing I know, a 'female' officer (who looked like the combination of the original Buckwheat from Little Rascals and Heman ...for the purpose of today's blog we'll refer to her as HeBuck. So HeBuck comes up to my window and with a huge attitude speels off thsi long rant about how rolling stops are only permitted in California and are not permitted in the state of MD. I was like whatever. I saw someone get pulled over right behind me for doing the same thing. Luckily, HeBuck didn't give me a ticket but she gave me the speel AGAIN before she departed...emphasizing the California stops thing. Alrighty then!

Sweet Lasagna

2009-03-07T21:21:00.000-08:00

Tonight's post is first regarding reason #2,568 why I should have been born blonde. Tonight I was at my cousin's bday party, and my Aunt had made this awesome Italian food (lasagna, meatballs, bread, etc...I was giddy) then I see what appears to be grated cheese so I excitedly ask my Mom to pass it to me and she does. I open and pour it out to realize it was what I thought was salt instead. "No big deal" I thought as I love salt anyway and could scrape it off. Well, right after that thought my Aunt was cracking up and announced that I had actually poured sugar onto my lasagna...smooooth. Amazingly my Mom scraped it off for me and I couldn't taste it anyway. I still felt like a total blonde though :).

The second part of this entry is dedicated to the massive suckage that is Daylight Savings Time. Spring Forward?! Who the hell thought of this crap? I just don't get it...since we Fall Back an hour, then Spring Forward, doesn't it balance out? Why even bother? I will just never understand.

Grab n go at the public library

2009-02-20T16:48:00.000-08:00

Hello friends,

I figured I would share the random memonet that happened with me today with everyone, to get your weekend off to a good start. Basically, I had been home since Wednesday afternoon with a stomach bug type thing and decided this afternoon once I was feeling better that I need to get outside for a least a few minutes. So, I went to the library to print out some stuff for school and pick up a book my sis needed.

Well, when I walked back to my car and right before I opened the door I heard this kid ride up behind me on a bike. He said "Hello" and before I could turn my head around he grabbed my butt then rode off. I was so in shock...I mean that doesnt happen in real life, right?! I wanted to get that little punk in trouble and I was so mad, so I kinda followed where he went in my car and him and I wound up intersecting at one point and I made it look like I was gonna run him over then I shouted at him from my window, officially sounding like an 80 year old woman. After I drove away I laughed at how incredibly random that whole thing was and at how old I sounded when I yelled at the kid. He looked like he was between 12-14 years old, and I can't believe he would just randomly do that.

So be careful, library patrons, an innocent book check out may lead to something more ;)

The Todd

2009-02-16T20:40:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents, as you may recall from my first entry I am a pro at forming my own vocabulary (to get my tenure at Harvard) and wanted to share my latest term with the world, "Todd." Todd essentially means a guy who calls/texts/emails/etc even though you have not responded to him. Poor Todd just doesn't get the hint. It also refers to a guy who is a clueless jackass when it comes to women, and you need to throw this book in his face
...of course there's a back story for this terminology :):

So, I meet this random guy right before Xmas and I think he's really cool (I guess I had impaired judgment) and we decide to go out, so we went on one (only one!) date. We had lined up a second date but I knew I wasn't diggin him so I decided to be honest before that and let him down gently (the ole BS of "you're a great guy but...) kinda thing. Well he asked if we would still hang out as friends, and I said sure (again, dern impaired judgment!). Well, we hung out once as "friends" (only once) and that was more than enough. Apparently he was peeved at me for 'dumping' him because the whole entire time I was getting this strong pissed off vibe from his side of the table. On top of that, among his many other charming stories (he talked a lot and I was having a hard time getting a word in edgewise) he told me about his Chocolate Chip Cookie test. ...Now get this ladies. Apparently, he lays out all the ingredients to bake chocolate chip cookies along with the recipe, and tells you to make them. Why you may ask? So he can make sure you know how to follow directions. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. While he's telling me this, my brain is kind of freezing in shock whiole trying to process this, and all I kept thinking is how I would just laugh if a guy instructed me to make him cookies. And, if my Memaw were alive and I told her, she'd say something like "I'd tell him where he could stick his cookies!" On top of allll this charm (I know, the girls will be knocking down my door for his number) he informed me that I was supposed to pay for his dinner that night. That was a newsflash to me. I paid for my dinner, but I dont pay for dinners of people I barely know, wow. I decided after that that I really had enough Todd to last me a lifetime and from there on out have been ignoring him. That all took place in January, and he's still calling and texting me (even though I haven't responded) to this day...actually, he texted me last night. I guess he hasn't found his dream cookie girl yet.

Anyway ladies, stay away from the Todd but enjoy the catchphrase. If a guys a douche, he is being Todd. Some guys may be nice, but they might still have a Todd moment or Todd day. Use wisely. In efforts of not being sexist, I recognize that girls can be crazy too.

The Pope's Gettin Dope

2009-01-26T20:13:00.000-08:00

Well since I grew up Catholic I felt a strong tie to the story of the Vatican having it's own channel on Youtube. (http://www.youtube.com/user/vatican?blend=1) Hmm. Apparently the Pope already had an Ipod, who knew? This made me think of what would happen if the Biblical stories I grew up with were actually told by the current Pope. Noah's arc would be featured on MTV's "Cribs" and each animal would be described as if it were a Benz. Moses would have his own music video and "Splitting the river" would become the fastest dance craze since "Soulja Boy." Virgin Mary would host "Charm School" in the Garden of Eden to try to save the scandalous girl Eve. Instead of just splitting the fish and bread, Jesus would actually make a fancy sushi dish in a "Top Chef" or "Foodnetwork Challenge" sort of fashion. "Walking on water" would be right up there with "Splitting the river" on all the dance floors ;).

That is all for now, for I am easily amused, and easily a horrible Catholic, and am going to hell :).

Inauguration and such

2009-01-21T11:05:00.001-08:00

Hi blog! Sorry I have neglected you, yet again. I have some (hopefully) funny things to try to make up for that.

First off, many people considered yesterday to be a big day in history due to the Inauguration. Yesterday was actually a big day for me because I got a free bag-o-meat from a dude who wants to work with our office. That's right, how often do you get offered free meat? He came in with samples and me and my one coworker got two chicken breasts, two pork chops, and two burgers all in a nicely sized insulated bag. I was like a kid on Christmas.

About the Inauguration...while many people were crying, fully taking in the experience, I was watching and finding goofy little ways to amuse myself. Of course the one Reverend dude made that quite easy with his "yellow can be mellow, white can be alright" rant. WTF was that? If I was asian american, I'd be pretty dern pissed that I was called yellow on national tv. I thought of other rhymes though that he should have incorporated...white can be dyn-o-mite and out of sight if the price is right, yellow can say hello to mellow fellows, brown can wear a crown and skip all over town, black can rack sacks of whack tacks.

Another source of amusement was watching George Bush fly away in the helicopter. Why you may ask? Because I thought of how he is going from Air Force One and how funny it would be if they forced him to fly coach. I could see it now. He gets on the plane, and they're like "o, you're flying coach, biznatch!" and kindly remind him that he now has to pay for soda and snacks. He's also only allowed to check one bag...and has to pay extra for the second. Ahh, isn't that a nice visual?

First Day Back in Da Cube

2009-01-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

Today was my first day back in da cube since December...waking up at 7am this morning was not fun (since I easily adapted to sleeping in way too late over break). Once I got back in the office it wasn't too bad. Of course my boss bombarded me with conversation (I would call her Chatty Cathy but omg, she's worse...more like non-stop must always chat about everything for at least a half hour Cathy). I always tune her out :). After that we had a staff meeting, a time honored tradition where tensions rise and cattiness comes out in ridiculous forms (I guess thats what you get when there's all women and one dude in the office).
I just sit back, relax, and chuckle at how stupid it all is.

After all that I got to speak to a class on my experience in Grad School thusfar. Sounds nerdy but I am definitely nerdy when it comes to speaking in public...I love it. I'm trying to get as much experience as possible so that I can speak in public and get paid to do so one day. I like the concept of people paying and then being stuck in a room listening to me, mwahaha.

After work I came back and fell asleep like I shouldn't have, because now I won't be able to sleep tonight (I never learn). Ah well, at least it's Wednesday.

Making up for severe neglect

2009-01-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

Ahh my poor neglected blog! In exchange for my neglect, I am posting this picture of an adorable puppy. You have to forgive me now for the puppy is just way too cute. Moving on, my New Year this far has been busy, crazy, and busy, and crazy. In a mere 11 days more has happened to me then I believe happens to most people throughout an entire year, haha. Once I was over the stomach bug things were well, but I decided that getting sick like that was the final straw and I quit my second job (which I blamed for getting me sick because it was an infestation of disease). I have to admit that I am looking forward to being able to concentrate more on school and my other job and not ave 50,000 things to worry about at once. 30,000 at once is slightly more manageable :). I guess it was a leap of faith...maybe risky due to the economy but we shall see. I know I'll be okay and I do need to find another temporary job to help bring in some extra moola, but I will be on the look out.

The second week of Jan my good friend and I took our road trip. Originally we were going to go north and possibly tubing but plans fell through so we went just a little bit south to my parents beach house (yes, my parents have a beach house which I guess qualifies me as a lucky brat). We had a great time and the highlight was the restaurant we went to on Wednesday night. This place is beyond PACKED in the summer, infact I dont go there because I have no desire to wait two hours to be seated for dinner, but we walked in and were the only people in the entire establishment. Out waiter was from Romania and was a really nice guy, so I invited him to sit with us and he wound up getting food and joing us. It's a unique experience to eat dinner with your waiter, hehe. I wanted him to teach us how to say insults in his native language but instead he taught us how to say "I Love You" in Romanian, Russian, and Turkish. It was really cool and lemme tell ya...I cant speak in those languages to save my life (but my friend and the waiter were amused at my lame attempts). In exchange, I taught him classy American slang such as "tipsy" and "badonkadonk"...he didnt know what that meant so I said "big ass!" and his face got bright red. I'm so classy. Another highlight of the evening was the Dirty Banana I had to drink...ahh man, if I wasn't driving I could have definitely gotten into trouble from their drinks. Dangerously good. Dirty Banana= Banana Liqueur, Crème de Café, & vanilla ice cream mix. .

After getting back to Bmore I went to Damons and pigged out. I love the baby back ribs there, so went with the intent of getting my usual 1/2 rack. Instead of getting my usual ealthy side I got the cheesy bacon fries. Once I got my plate I looked down and literally said "h0%* S#$%"...I've never ordered that many calories at once before. I ate it, then was stuffed until 2pm the next day. Seriously. Friday I was happily delighted to go to a diner I hadn't been to since probably high school, I always used to go to this diner growing up and always played the claw machine, so I played for nostalgic reasons and won a pink panther...the people who were walking out when it happened were like "omg, I didn't know you could win from one of those things!" I inspired people :), haha. I also got to go duckpin bowling this weekend which is also a blast and very nostalgic (I love taking people that have never been before). The Ravens game on Saturday was of course AMAZING and I can't wait for Sunday's game, ahhh. Wait a sec, I'm having a premonition...

Okay well tomorrow I'm going to goof off and then hopefully plan as I'm supposed to for work on Tues....I have a few events to plan and lets just say I waited until the last minute (as usual) to think about them. Good thing I work best under pressure. Tomorrow night regardless of the progress I will make time for my newest Reality Show obsession, The City.

That's all I can think of for now...I promise to improve on the frequency of my updates <3!

Finally Caught

2009-01-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

Well after successfully avoiding the GI plague during 2008, 2009 began with it waking me up on the morning and I spent the next 5 hours glued to the bathroom floor. Less than fun! I still have it today...seems better but still won't go away and I haven't eaten anything but crackers since Wednesday night. I'll probably lose a good 10 lbs by the time this is over. I'm hoping the wedding rule applies to New Years as well. You know how they say if there is bad luck on your wedding day then you'll have a good marriage? I'm hoping my bad start to 2009 means I'm due for a great year. I promise a better update once I feel better!

A more indepth weekend update

2008-12-29T22:03:00.001-08:00

Well I can't sleep (shocker) so I decided to update. Saturday as I said I was really pumped for going out, but unfortunately it didn't work out as well as planned. My one friend traveled down to stay with me to go out and celebrate another friend's bday, but the friend staying with me (of course) got the GI virus and started looking progressively more like death throughout the evening. We wound up leaving around midnight, then she got sick in the middle of the night in my bathroom. I swear, this freakin GI plague is following me around. First it hit my one office (where it still is today) then my other office, then my own apt! I started feeling weird around 4pm today and got weird/uneasy stomach pain, so I skipped dinner and seem to be doing okay now. I guess we'll see what happens. Ay yi yi.

Sunday was my first time watching the Ravens game at a bar downtown...I liked that experience. The bar I went to wasn't too crowded and food was pretty good (I got chicken 'bites' and cheese fries....healthy).

So I have only two days left and still haven't committed to plans for NYE. I have three options but refuse to commit. I am a horrible last minute person, but for some reason I don't really like NYE. I get super duper reflective and sappy this time of year. Ah well. I promise funniness soon when I get over sappiness.

RAVENS IN THE PLAYOFFS

2008-12-28T19:00:00.000-08:00

This post has no other significance (and needs no other) than to say THE RAVENS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS :)! I'm sooooooooooooooooo proud of them!

That is all :).

Death of a Christmas Tree

2008-12-27T12:51:00.000-08:00

Today, we gather together to mourn the loss of the midget Christmas tree. He was a good tree, the runt of his litter yet withstood years of ridicule and feleing less superior when next to normal sized trees. Had a good spirit about him. He was tragically found this morning in this state... Police have ruled his death as a homicide by electrecution. Poor Christmas Tree.

In other news, I'm going out dancing tonight and cannot even explain how much I need to go out. I haven't been out in a month and mannnn, I need a drink. The holidays does that to you....even us rare drinkers. Ha.

Christmas Reflection

2008-12-26T13:02:00.000-08:00

Hi all...well Christmas rushed by, as usual, and here's my reflection.

The days before Christmas were spent doing fragrance modeling (I'm one of those girls in the mall that hands out cards at the fragrance counter) and let me tell you, nothing makes you hate people more than working retail around Christmas time. People are so needy, and don't realize that you do NOT work for the store and do NOTknow about everything, you just work for the fragrance line that hired you. My favorite kinda people to work with are the men who are so clueless...they come in, ask me what fragrance is the "hottest", of course I lie and say mine then they just buy it on the spot. Uhhh, don't you think I have a bias? Hehe, their ignorance is my bliss. I wish everyone could be like that, but unfortunately most people rush in last minute with all these demands and give you a huge attitude when yout ell them all the good stuff has sold out. Come on now people, it's not rocket science!

Christmas morning my sis and I went to my parents house, as usual, to open gifts. Santa surprised me with a GPS this year which is AWESOME because I usually can't find my way out of a paper bag. What are the GPS coordinates for 'paper bag' anyway? I also got Christina Aguilera's new perfume which smells pretty sweet and some clothes. After this we got ready and went to my Aunt's house for dinner. Dinner was nice but man, there are so many freakin kids on that side of the family. We had a massive baby boom and as a result it was so loud in the house. I found myself yearning to be married and just celebrate a quiet Christmas with my spouse and our 1-2 kids...wow, Im getting old to have these kinda thoughts!

Today I slept til 12 (whoops) and dragged my butt into the office for a few hours since I can't afford to take the whole day off. It's boring, but I have no plans for right now anyway so I may as well just chill here and get paid for it. Haha. I actually thought today that if they were to fire me I wouldnt even be upset because I totally deserve it. Infact, I'd only miss the money. Bad but true.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T22:36:00.000-08:00

Well it's Christmas (already)! and being the good Christian girl that I am, I decided to post a nice blog with Christmas images to celebrate this joyous occasion. The following were my personal favorites:

...and....

Yet again, going to hell.

MERRY CHRISTMAS :)!!!

I will update soon (definitely tonight or tomorrow, I promise)!

I bet Jessica Simpson hates Baltimore

2008-12-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

This weekend was pretty good...not great, not bad. Friday night I worked, then started feeling a bit icky (bad aches and weird stomach grumblings/nausea) then worked Saturday early and was going to go out Sat night but decided to stay home since I was still feeling quite off. I'm glad I did that because I was able to get a good night's sleep to feel better Sunday morning. I also got to watch the FANTASTIC Ravens vs. Cowboys game, wow...what an inspiration. It was the closing game of the Texas stadium and the Ravens basically knocked Tony Romo's balls off and handed them to him on a silver platter :). Sunday we had early Christmas with my Dads side of the fam...we do white elephant and I wound up with a gift card to Omaha Steaks...mmmm. I was perusing the website tonight and getting quite excited over what I can order. (www.omahasteaks.com...I can't figure out how to make a link work on this thing). I'm leaning toward the chicken and cheese bites (see appetizers). YUM. That is what I call a tart of awesomeness. After that I volunteered to wrap gifts for kids for 2 hours (aww, yes, I am that good of a person) and then I worked at my holiday job (in sales) for like 3.5 hours. I hate sales work, but I like the paycheck and only do it a few days a year.

The highlight of today's white elephant was creepy/stoned/drunk elmo that was given to my 2 year old cousin as a gift. The following video shows what Elmo Live is supposed to do. . Elmo was supposed to sit down, but instead he would just fall over and say "uh o". He was definitely on something. Now, while I appreciate Sesame Street's attempt to portray a crack-addicted child in Elmo, at least let the poor thing be able to sit down.

Yesterday (sings Beatles song)

2008-12-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was probably one of the best days I've had all year. Yea, that's a big title to give away but yesterday most definitely deserves it. I had off work, got all my holiday shopping done, got a great haircut (and therefore no longer look like the bumble) and met a really cool guy at Walgreens in the toy aisle...now if things were to actually work out between us our story would dominate "the best way you met someone" category. Of course I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but yea they're already up...damn being a hopeless romantic. Gets ya every time.

Yesterday I was also exposed to this video, , which I have watched four times already and it cracks me up every single time. Real life is the best source of humor, I swear.

Today I'm at work trying to avoid the GI plague that is STILL going around the building, oy. Then I have to work my second holiday job and go to a holiday shindig which should be fun. Tomorrow I may be working again but am definitely traveling and going out for the night with friends. Also exciting. I hope/plan to make this weekend a celebration of the end of my first semester of grad school...whoop!

O I believe, in yesterday...

Abominable Life Updates

2008-12-17T15:09:00.000-08:00

Well today I had off but I did the professionally responsible thing (for once) by going and having a meeting with an organization I would LOVE to work for. Basically, I'm going to get a good foot in the door by volunteering to develop an entire campaign for them...I'm really excited and yes, I am acknowledging how nerdy that makes me. Hopefully it pays off, but it will be good experience none the less.

In another life update, I realized today that my hair has gotten out-of-control long, like crazy abominable snowman long.

I like the length but it's so thick that I really need to get it tamed down before xmas. I don't know where to get my mane trimmed...any suggestions? I've never gotten what I would consider a great haircut, so I'm skeptical.

Happy 90th

2008-12-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

Time for a sappy post

Some of us (the very lucky ones) have a special person in our lives who changes us in ways that we can never explain and who teaches us more than we could ever comprehend until we are much older and it hits us that "wow, that person was always right." That person for me was my Memaw, which anyone whose been around me for more then 5 minutes has heard me mention. We lost her 2 years ago this February, but she's still very much here with me and with the family (she's nosey like that).

Basically, she was the best person I've ever known and we really connected. She was also funny as crap which I like to think I inherited from her :). I started the tradition of remembering her birthday somehow last year so I wanted to make sure to do that again, which is today when she would have been 90.

If I write about you it means I REALLY care about you, and well I've written several poems and stories about Memaw. The one I wrote in 2004 ended with these two lines...

My life will be lived-
To make you proud

I still hope to do that today.

Blew off work

2008-12-15T14:49:00.000-08:00

Well this morning I woke up and realized that I hadn't blown off a day of work in a longggg time so I decided to give myself the day off to sleep in. I'm really glad I did because my boss wound up calling me from her house- she caught the GI bug and so did another coworker in my office. I just kinda acted like I had it too to sound legit for missing work (hopefully I didnt jinx myself!) but it made me uber glad I didn't enter what seems to be the manifestation of germs (aka my office). I'm hoping it will be over by the time I go back Friday...I really don't want to catch it!

Today I actually was a little productive...bought some birthday cards for 4 people (damn all of you having a birthday within 3 weeks of each other) at Hallmark but while I was there there was an older gentleman who was sitting down and saying he was nauseous...the Hallmark peeps actually called Paramedics for him. I really hope he's okay, but my selfish thought of the day was "arg, I cant escape germs!" (worrying if he had something contagious). Then I got stamps so I can actually send out my holiday cards (hopefully will do that tomorrow, we shall see) and veggies so I can make veggies and dip for the office potluck tomorrow. Shall be tre fun, for sure.

Now I should go since I have my first final in 3 minutes...wish me luck! My other final is online, the prof hasnt posted it yet but really should considering it is finals week...then I have a presentation and my last class tomorrow night. Can't believe I'm already almost 1/4 done Grad School!

They didn't really win

2008-12-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

I couldn't comment on today's football game earlier because, well, I needed time to recoop. Basically, Baltimore had the game stolen by a moron ref and a bogus call for what was not a touchdown but for some reason was ruled one (even though anyone and everyone could see it wasn't). I really hope we'll still make the playoffs, and have our chance at beating them as we should have today. Life's just not fair sometimes.

Awkward Holiday Gatherings

2008-12-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

Tis the season for awkward holiday parties...you know, the ones you have at the office with the people you usually don't have to talk to for more then a "hey, how are you?" I had this situation on Friday afternoon. I was talking to people I actually don't mind talking to, but then my coworkers started making fun of this one girl who was there and wearing a quite awkward outfit...a 3/4 length sleeve black shirt under a printed strapless dress with a chunky black necklace...looked more awkward than it sounds. For the purpose of this blog I'll call her "GIC" (Girl in Crisis). Well right after their bashing (I'm tellin ya, girls are brutal) GIC walked towards where we are and decided to strike up a conversation with me. I tried my hardest to maintain professionalism and actually listen to her but mannn the heinous necklace/dress under shirt combo was getting to me. I don't think GIC could tell though since she said her department is expanding and I should work there....but man, I can only imagine how much better my blog would be if I saw what this chick wears on a daily basis...

TGIF

2008-12-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

Needed to apologize to my blog for neglecting it this week...I've been feeling tre overwhelmed by everything I have to do last minute (since I procrastinated all semester) for grad school. The rest of the week was okay...Tuesday had the funeral, Wednesday finished and sent in my 20 page paper which sucks (hopefully not as bad as I think it does), last night went to a Comedy Show which was pretty cool then today back at work. It's lovely because there's a GI disease going around the office so I'm incredibly paranoid...

Also realized due to the craziness of my life I have neglected to incorporate any funniness into my latest entries. I saw an article that the new Barbie is stirring up controversy

and I have to disagree that she's too much...I say that she's not enough. Where are the track marks from her drug usage? Where are her blood shot eyes? Growing up near a city I believe these things are prevalent for any little girl to become familiar with. Maybe this is why I didn't get into the toy business. The one positive thing I will say about the new Barbie is that she really looks like a Tranny, so I'm glad Mattel has become more liberal and is promoting alternative lifestyles.

Birthday on a Monday...blah!

2008-12-08T08:41:00.000-08:00

Well today is my birthday, and I'm very bitter that I have to work (normally I would take off but since I work two part-time jobs, no paid time off...bah!). I did get a nice surprise visit last night then I've gotten a few calls/texts since then which is cool. Of course people are hitting up Facebook too, as always. My fam and I were going to go to dinner but since my Great Uncle passed away we actually have his viewing tonight, then we're just going to have cake afterward. Kinda sucks to have a viewing to go to on my bday...but such is life.

Since I'm now 25, I find that this is a good time to reflect back on the first quarter of my life. I've realized that in the past 24 years I have dislocated a knee, broken two bones, had three very near-death experiences, had my most embarrasing moment published in a magazine, graduated college/started grad school, worked literally about 20 jobs (I'm not exaggerating), loved, lost, and won. It's been a very interesting 24 years so far. I plan on making the next 24 all that much better.

Holiday craziness

2008-12-07T11:32:00.000-08:00

Well a bunch of my galfriends came down last night and lifted my spirits during what has become our Annual Holidays/Birthdays bash. I planned it out and was quite proud of myself for this year's theme/activity (Project Runway). First, we all exchanged our infamous gag gifts ($5 limit and if you get something wearable, you have to wear it out in public). I wound up wearing a long blonde wig, leopard print gloves, earrings and a big leopard print belt. For the activity, we were all going to go to Good Will (wanted to incorporate giving back into our activity because I'm just that good) but they closed early so we hit up Walmart...I looked all kinds of awesome walking in there with my wig. We definitely got some attention and a lot of people asking us what the occasion was. We were all in teams of two, had a $10 limit and 15 minutes to pick out attire to work with. Of course my team picked out more leopard print, hideous underwear, and snazzy sparkly tights. Then we all came back and I threw in the Project Runway twist that everyone had to incorporate a bunch of really weird materials (ie: candy, yarn, a red bow, etc) into their outfit then one person would model and the other would announce. I wound up modeling a leopard print top with my gloves and the sparkly tights with the underwear over them. Yowza. Luckily for me I can rewear allll the leopard stuff for Honfest so I'm totally pumped for that. Here is a cropped picture of part of my ensemble...

Anywhoo I loved that we all had a great time, there was 8 of us total. I'm so lucky to have friends that are crazy like me and can let loose and enjoy each other's company <3.

A Long December

2008-12-05T09:35:00.000-08:00

Just an update that my Great Uncle passed away this morning..I'm relieved for him but it will be stressful. Viewing probably Monday and service on Tuesday. December, you suck so far. He was a cool dude who really brought out the Irish part of my heritage...always had sayings and songs, etc. This was his favorite...

"May those who love us love us. For those who don't love us, may god turn their hearts. If he can't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we know them by their limping."

One of dem dayz

2008-12-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

So this morning started out with my laptop contracting a lovely virus which made it impossible for me to get any school work done as planned. Instead I spent two hours at IT and they still didnt solve the problem so I left my laptop there and didn't even pick it up until 8pm. Thank goodness it works now and I am typing to you from it.

While that was going on I also found out that my Great Uncle is in the hospital and not doing well at all...he is an extremely awesome human being and I just hate what he's going through because he sure as hell doesn't deserve it. Life isn't fair. Also I find out one of my friends is going to the hospital due to constant chest pain (which I'm glad he's getting checked out, but I'm still worried as hell). Then I get the news that my friends old roomie from college's fiance passed away at 23...so scary. It was just a very weird and depressing day. My nerves are shot.

What do I do when dealing with this information? I lash out toward someone that didn't deserve it (which is typical for me). This is why I should not get close to people and should accept my fate as the lonely crazy old cat woman. I hope to have a more chipper update when I'm in a better mood...right now I'm just feeling all kinds of crummy.

I guess one positive thing to say is that I really like Britney Spears' new CD. It's quite catchy and fun and I've already spent many hours head bobbin along to the songs. Don't hate.

The sucks to be you file (case 1)

2008-11-30T20:03:00.000-08:00

This dude inspired me to create a "Sucks to be you file", taking pictures and posting pics of people who it would suck to be. This guy is definitely a great first case:

Now its hard to see (pic was taken from my cell phone) but he is in an orange poncho holding a sign up in the cold rain. That would suck.

Angel with a whhhaaattt?

2008-11-30T19:55:00.000-08:00

Okay so first a quick vent then on to funniness. Went to a wedding yesterday for someone whose the youngest daughter of a couple my parents are really close to...it was boring and I HATED the fact that I was single, mainly because I had to sit there duing slow dances which always gets to me. Weddings can be biznatches like that.

On a better note, my sis and I got out xmas decorations to find this angel holding a "candle". Now, I'm sorry, but does this really look like a candle?

This is why I'm going to hell :)

I hate being a woman

2008-11-28T13:41:00.000-08:00

Just had to get a quick vent in...had to leave work early but because I started to feel like literal crap and could no longer stand up...so I'm now home laying on my couch in pain and feeling beyond lousy. Other girls know what I'm talking about here...it sucks. Not the way I wanted to spend my Friday night! I promise a funny update once I feel better.

Life/Thanksgiving Updates

2008-11-28T09:22:00.000-08:00

Well as promised I am the only person in the office today (and very bitter about that) so here is what will most likely end up as a lonnng blog covering life updates and Thanksgiving. I'll start with life updates since they began on Tuesday.

So Tuesday morning I wasn't in the best of moods when I went to work, so I went to seek out life advice from my spiritual guru...that's right, I have one in that office. She became my spiritual guru when her and I had our first conversation back in October. Let's just say that we talked for about 8 hours and then she started readng into my life and telling me things about myself that are eerily true (and things you can't just guess). She's about 35-45 years my senior (I know better than to ask for her actual age) and I really value her guidance. I went in to vent about how I was getting tired of dating and how I wished I could just find what I want already and how the holidays is usually that time when I wish I had someone. Well, she's going to be out of the office for about a month but she looks and me and says "I think you're going to have a great holiday...something's going to happen for you...in fact, here's my number. Call me and tell me after it happens." Woo hoo! That was quite encouraging :). I hope she's right (note that she has been right about everything else so far so there's a good chance). I am so greatful for my guru, and truly think everyone needs one! Right after the conversation with my guru one of my other coworker's told me a guy she knows (and who I met once) liked me and wanted to ask me out but was too shy. Flattering but kind of useless information...if he's too shy to even ask, I'm 99.9% sure he'll be too shy for me (and won't be able to handle my craziness...most people can't). Ah well, still ego boosting which I definitely needed that day.

Wednesday evening I decided to experience "the biggest party night of the year" for my first time by going downtown with two great gal pals. I arrived at 8 and had to wait until 8:30 in the parking lot because they missed the exit and had to loop around a bit, so we got in the first bar around 8:45. I was quite festive with Thanksgiving stickers on me and a small paper turkey on the top of my head :). I also brought two other turkeys which the gals wore on their fingers as rings and i brought stickers to give out in the bars (they were actually quite popular). The first place was kinda lame so we left for the second place which was a cool pub with tons of space so we could sit and catch up for a bit. There one of my gal's guy friends met up with us and told us to come to a new bar where his friends are bartenders. This place was aout 6 blocks away, but worth the journey as all the bartenders were really cool and fun (they let me put stickers all over them) and they actually got me buzzed. Now, those of you who don't know me don't think this is a big deal but I can guarantee you that my friends who read this will really freak out. I barely EVER drink, and I've only experienced a buzz once before and that was like 2 years ago...so it's a big deal. How they got me was that they said they loved mixing together flavors (experimenting) so they made me this delicious martini (my first martini ever) and then this second drink that was quite good with cherries. I started feeling the effects which was an interesting feeling (especially since I'm not used to it) and managed to only embarrass myself once by yelling out something that I normally wouldn't share about myself to my gal's friend and then gasping...but luckily my friends and I covered it up well, haha. After that we left for the third place to go dancing and my gal's friend decided he had a crush on me. That was flattering and all, but this dude seriously has no clue how to "work it" with a girl you like...he was just really weird and pretty much blew any chance he would ever have with me. O boys, can't you get it? After that we left kinda early (we're old and lame, what can I say) but it was overall a great night. I definitely want to go back to that bar even though I'm sure they'll only get me into more trouble. When I got home I couldn't sleep and wound up finally crashing at 5am...blah.

I have to say that in the "biggest party night of the year" aspect that I do not agree with that. We went to popular spots that are always crowded on weekends, but there was barely no one out on Wednesday which I thought was really odd. I still vote for St. Patty's Day as the biggest and best party night of the year :).

Thanksgiving was okay...I wasn't feeling that great (lack of sleep and etc) as my sister and I went to my Aunt's where we traditionally celebrate. It's always good to see the family, but certain members more than others. I have some realtives who just like to make everything really negative, and like to tlak down to me and others and it's gotten really old. Sometimes I wish before a family function that I could just make myself into being an oblivious 2 year old again who just thinks everything is fun and family get togethers are a positive experience. Reality is such an a-hole. The positive/scary thing is that my cousin who is obsessed with NKOTB taught her 2 year old to sing along to them on their karaoke machine...it was quite adorable.

Well I think I've exhausted myself for now...tonight I have to figure out what the heck I'm wearing to a wedding my family is going to tomorrow...it's one of those weddings where you haven't seen the person in years, so I can't say I'm thrilled to go but ah well. Then I plan on major recooping/chillaxing tonight. I have so much school work to do but in reality nothing will probably get done this weekend...I'm just too tired! Three weeks til the end of my first semester :)!

Weekend Recap

2008-11-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

Well I had a spontaneously cool weekend. Friday night I wound up deciding to face the snow and drive to DC to meet up with a good friend. Before heading out, we decided to visit her old roomie who was house-sitting in a very weird yet cool house. On the way to the house we got lost and wound up literally driving in circles around DC for an hour :). It was worth the journey though as this house was literally WEIRD. You walk in and the living room has furniture which looks like a polished psychiatrists office...deep red in color and not actually comfortable to sit in at all. Then, upstairs the one bedroom has a huge gap between the wall and ceiling so the person who grew up there never had noise privacy. You walk into the office and there's a ladder which leads to a loft which is used as the third bedroom. In here lives a 6'2" boy, and I don't know how he does it because I would have had to crawl to get through that space. The master bedroom has a column smack dab in the middle of the room that you have to walk around to get to anything, and the occupants of such room are artists which is obvious as their work is EVERYWHERE. I was seriously creeped out by this house. After we left we made it out to the bar and I started talking to a guy about tattoos...I've already become one of THOSE people within two weeks of getting my first one. We exchanged numbers but he hasn't called which doesn't surprise me...especially since he knew I lived an hour away and he doesn't drive (I always find the winners!) don't ask how but I somehow wound up staying awake until 4am that morning...I'm proud of my old self :).

Saturday once I got home I slept for 3 hours (much needed) and proceeded to chillax and gab on the phone(also needed) while slightly doing homework (very needed). Sunday was then spent utilizing a good eleven+ hours to complete two of my papers for school which I had been procrastinating on all semester. Will I ever learn? Probably not, but hey, at least I got them done (of course they were done last night at midnight, but still). Of course, the highlight of Sunday was the fantabulous Ravens game where we crushed the Eagles...I get even more joy out of this then when we crush other teams because I had to go to college with a bunch of their obnoxious fans :).

Not sure if I can find the words

2008-11-22T21:24:00.001-08:00

Saw this today at a supermarket...they cost 50 cents.

Note that it was pretty darn close to the "bling" machine where kids can be gangstas for a mere two quarters. We all know J.C. was a baller, right kids?

Bu But Butt

2008-11-22T19:13:00.000-08:00

Had to share this randomly hilarious story for you kids. Last week, three of my galpals came down and we went out dancing. Well at the last bar where we were, this dude starts dancing with me and asks how to get my number. I say "well I'll give you my number but you have to dance with my friends" and he agrees so, like a dumb@$$, I give him my number and he proceeds to dance with my friends. Well he then decides to try to get skeezy on my friends by putting his hand on their butts...not cool!

Well I thought I was off the hook because I hadn't heard from him but then last night I get a random text asking whats up. He then said his name and that he was from the bar last week. I thought ooo geez...how smooth, first you try to creep on my friends then you wait a week then send me a lame text...what a winner. He asked if I wanted to get coffee sometime this weekend, and I'm so proud of my response which was:

"Actually no because you touched my friends butts."

He texted back "wow" and apologized for "being offensive" ha. LAME-O

Men, please please please stop this behavior. Guys like this are just bad for your species :)

Pot@$$holes

2008-11-15T11:14:00.000-08:00

So no longer are they potholes, but pot@$$holes! Here's what one did to my poor tire today...

And yea, I wasn't even in the city or anything. I was in suburbia on a main street that is always congested because you take it to get to the highway. AHHH! My car now has a doughnut on until Monday when they can order me a real tire again.

Well I just had time for that short rant but hopefully I'll have another funny life update soon.

Awesome Comparison

2008-11-13T12:18:00.000-08:00

So my ghetto fabulous friend and I were discussing Carla from Top Chef and she brought up an awesome point...she looks just like Sam the Eagle!

Thank you for the great contribution to the blog :)

Has everybody heard about da bird?

2008-11-13T12:02:00.000-08:00

So apparently the bird look-alike thing is a new phenomenon. I watched the Season 5 premiere of Top Chef: New York last night which confirmed this. The one contestant Carla looks like she should have feathers, and/or her head in the ground.

Another thing is what Gail was wearing...okay, since when did Todd Oldhman curtains become acceptable attire for tv?

Other news on Top Chef...one of the girls is from my hometown, so I really wanted to root for her. She made this extremely difficult because she was actually really annoying. I am opting instead to root for Gene, who worked his way up from washing dishes and never went to culinary school. You gotta give him props for that.

Turkraziness

2008-11-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

well it just hit me, as I was sitting in my cube and doing pretty much everything but work, that Thanksgiving is a mere 15 days away. Holy crap. Then I thought, that's Turkrazy! So that is my latest term. Turkrazy can be used to describe the maddness that is the month of November, and the fabulous Thanksgiving holiday. You may think this is a weird term, but before you know it you will see a turkey decal on someone's window and without thinking will exclaim "o man, that's Turkrazy." Get used to it, pass it around, etc etc. It's fun to say. That's my contribution to make your life that much better :). You're welcome.

Michelle Obama in yellow

2008-11-10T20:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, now even though Michelle Obama did help inspire this blog with her original dragon on pleather ensemble, this yellow one may just take the cake. All I can think of is Big Bird, or the man in the yellow hat from Curious George (which does work out nicely because Obama's ears do look quite monkeyish). Haha, don't hate me Obama lovers! This is all in good fun :). You shouldn't get into politics if you don't like ridicule anyway...you know I'm right ;).

Murphy's Law

2008-11-08T07:04:00.000-08:00

So this morning I am a hott mess. First things first, I lost my Debit card the other night. This is really bad because I use my debit card for EVERYTHING...I'm one of "those" people who don't carry cash. Luckily I actually do have $27 in my wallet, much more then usual, so I can survive today without the debit. I'm probably going to still head home and look for it though.

I had to come to one of my jobs this morning to meet with someone who is not yet here...judging by my morning this far they probably won't show up. Truth be told I'm not in a friendly mood anyway. While Driving to work someone totally cut me off so I slammed on the brakes and skidded a little bit and by some sort of miracle did not hit their car (but was way too close for comfort). I get shaken up so easily that I'm still sort of recooping, and my stomach hurts (also common when my nerves are ruined). Then, at work, I find my ATM card in my wallet (different from my debit card because I can ONLY use it on ATM's) and try to put it in the ATM machine...and guess what, it totally jams the machine. They got it out thank goodness but it's bent so I can't use it again. What a morning! I know what brought this all on...I'm seeing one of my ex boyfriends today.

I dated him last summer for a little over a month and saw him again in January and we'll just say things didn't go so well. We did talk about it and ended things on respectable terms but I haven't seen or talked to him since then. Out of the blue yesterday I get an email from him...I was literally shocked. I decided "what the hell" and at the idea of possibly being friends suggested we meet up...well even weirder we discovered that we were both traveling today anyway and to the same town. So yea, we're meeting up in this town before our plans. Should be interesting to say the least...

Okay so this blog today has been way too serious, so let me share my funny anecdote for the day which started the series of "bad" events this morning but in reality is just amusing. I love frosted mini wheats, and had purchased them at the store, so this morning before work they were exactly what I wanted. I opened the pantry to find that no, I had not purchased frosted mini wheats but instead had purchased shredded wheat...no frost! WTF?! I was really mad at myself. I actually tried a few of these things which tasted like cardboard. YUCK! It made me think about who actually purposefully purchases this cereal? I'm thinking someone really boring...like Matt Damon, or half of Congress. Yea, they're keeping the shredded wheat alive.

Anyways that's it for now..I will update again this weekend most definitely :)!

Blogging from my cube

2008-11-06T07:59:00.000-08:00

Well I'm at work and supposed to be working but I am already way too consumed with this blog. I am so hyped to have two official "followers"...you know that term totally makes me feel like a cult leader and I'm digging it! Ha...followers, we will all gather tonight at 5pm to drink our special punch...

Anyway, as promised I wanted to share one of my most recent dating stories for your entertainment...We went out to dinner and I spent an hour and half with him total...arguably one of the longest hour and a halfs of my life. He is from the South, and I am in no way hating on the South, but he was SO skiddish. okay dude, we're outside of Baltimore. We weren't even in the city on this date, we were in a nice area with plenty of pedestrian walkways. Literally, he was afraid to walk across these with me. I would just start walking and he'd freak out saying that he didn't think the cars would stop. All I could think of was the scene from Elf where Will Farrell is trying to cross the streets of New York City and exclaims "The yellow ones don't stop!" Men, if you are reading this, that is so unattractive. I hate feeling like the one who wears the pants in the relationship...and feeling like I'm with a little kid whose afraid to cross the street. Suck it up and just cross! haha. Anyway after dinner and seeing this behavior I used the good ole homework excuse (note that I have not adjusted to proper Grad school behavior and will almost ALWAYS blow off homework for a good time) so that was a crock. It got me out of the date though, se la vie.

My first post :)

2008-11-05T18:32:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

Well I decided to start a blog. Will anyone actually read this? Who knows. All I know is that I have really random thoughts, and sometimes they're actually kinda funny...so why not capture them on a blog? It's going to be scary, random, and ridiculous...but also should be fun.

I have to first thank Michelle Obama for inspiring this blog creation. I voted for McCain actually but still have to give her credit because she wore the worst possible thing on National Television last night when they were announcing her and the First Lady to be. Okay, her dress looked like a dragon farted onto a piece of pleather. Not smart. Access Hollywood showed what the dress was SUPPOSED to look like on a size 2 model...and trust me I am not a size two and I am all about women looking awesome no matter their size but o Michelle, what will we do with you? All I wanted to do was grab an extinguisher.

Other then that thought, a bit about me. I titled this blog "On the Upcline" because upcline is one of the many words I have invented. That's right kids, I have my own vocabulary. One of my professors just said this week that the professors at Harvard and the other smart schools get tenure for making up terms...so I'm on my way to teaching at Harvard! Right now I'm in Grad School and working full time because I'm crazzzzzy. Nah, life is getting good. Holidays are coming up which should be a key time for lots of funny life activity. I LOVE the Ravens...so don't hate. I also love "I Love Lucy" and know a little too much about that show. I'm an interesting quirky mix of old-fashioned meets the 21st century and kid at heart meets 90 year old woman. What can I say, you'd have to get to know me (which is actually really hard). I date on and off but relationships are RARE. I also plan to use my dating stories as a source of humor for my audience :). I love to laugh, and find humor in almost anything and everything.

Anyway, comment on this or any future blogs if you actually read...I'll be so happy to know I have a reader :)!