Larry King: America's Sexiest Bachelor

I had been spending my days like all single girls...eating ice cream, crying, and watching Oprah...feeling meaningless in today's world when ALAS! News that would change my life forever came to surface. Larry King, the sexiest man in America, is going to be the next "Bachelor." Of course, upon hearing this news I jumped with glee, put on my best pair of red pumps, and went to apply for the show...online. How so you attract a winner like Larry King? I figured I'd start by mentioning that eight is my favorite number, so it must be meant to be. Below is my love poem that I submitted for Larry.



Dear Larry,

I like the number eight,
It must be fate!
With or without the eye patch,
You're the perfect catch!
You've aged like wine,
I'm a sucker for those age lines!
You always look great in the news,
After I've had a lot of booze!
Yes Larry, this is our time,
Please accept my proposal within this rhyme

Love Always,

Lucky Number 8

Tiger or me...Who's getting their Masters in 2010?

No, I didn't watch the Masters Tournament today. I had much more important things to do like sleep, talk on the phone, and procrastinate with my school work. Hello! However, I did catch the buzz that Tiger came in 4th at the tournament. This made me content. I happen to believe in karma, and the dude who won seems like a nice guy. I don't know much about him, but he seems to be faithful to his wife. That's more than some other golfers can say. Some readers may argue that Tiger did apologize, and/or that his personal life shouldn't interfere what you think of his golf game. I'd like to point out that Tiger himself is now in the horrible Nike ad where he uses his dead Dad's voice "reprimanding" him to sell some sneakers. I'm sure Dad's ghost is pissed that he's not seeing those royalties.

As far as golf goes, I'll stick to the miniature kind. Much less scandalous. And I'll still get a Masters this year. Sorry Tiger.