The sucks to be you file (case 1)

This dude inspired me to create a "Sucks to be you file", taking pictures and posting pics of people who it would suck to be. This guy is definitely a great first case:



Now its hard to see (pic was taken from my cell phone) but he is in an orange poncho holding a sign up in the cold rain. That would suck.

Angel with a whhhaaattt?

Okay so first a quick vent then on to funniness. Went to a wedding yesterday for someone whose the youngest daughter of a couple my parents are really close to...it was boring and I HATED the fact that I was single, mainly because I had to sit there duing slow dances which always gets to me. Weddings can be biznatches like that.

On a better note, my sis and I got out xmas decorations to find this angel holding a "candle". Now, I'm sorry, but does this really look like a candle?

This is why I'm going to hell :)

I hate being a woman

Just had to get a quick vent in...had to leave work early but because I started to feel like literal crap and could no longer stand up...so I'm now home laying on my couch in pain and feeling beyond lousy. Other girls know what I'm talking about here...it sucks. Not the way I wanted to spend my Friday night! I promise a funny update once I feel better.

Life/Thanksgiving Updates

Well as promised I am the only person in the office today (and very bitter about that) so here is what will most likely end up as a lonnng blog covering life updates and Thanksgiving. I'll start with life updates since they began on Tuesday.

So Tuesday morning I wasn't in the best of moods when I went to work, so I went to seek out life advice from my spiritual guru...that's right, I have one in that office. She became my spiritual guru when her and I had our first conversation back in October. Let's just say that we talked for about 8 hours and then she started readng into my life and telling me things about myself that are eerily true (and things you can't just guess). She's about 35-45 years my senior (I know better than to ask for her actual age) and I really value her guidance. I went in to vent about how I was getting tired of dating and how I wished I could just find what I want already and how the holidays is usually that time when I wish I had someone. Well, she's going to be out of the office for about a month but she looks and me and says "I think you're going to have a great holiday...something's going to happen for you...in fact, here's my number. Call me and tell me after it happens." Woo hoo! That was quite encouraging :). I hope she's right (note that she has been right about everything else so far so there's a good chance). I am so greatful for my guru, and truly think everyone needs one! Right after the conversation with my guru one of my other coworker's told me a guy she knows (and who I met once) liked me and wanted to ask me out but was too shy. Flattering but kind of useless information...if he's too shy to even ask, I'm 99.9% sure he'll be too shy for me (and won't be able to handle my craziness...most people can't). Ah well, still ego boosting which I definitely needed that day.

Wednesday evening I decided to experience "the biggest party night of the year" for my first time by going downtown with two great gal pals. I arrived at 8 and had to wait until 8:30 in the parking lot because they missed the exit and had to loop around a bit, so we got in the first bar around 8:45. I was quite festive with Thanksgiving stickers on me and a small paper turkey on the top of my head :). I also brought two other turkeys which the gals wore on their fingers as rings and i brought stickers to give out in the bars (they were actually quite popular). The first place was kinda lame so we left for the second place which was a cool pub with tons of space so we could sit and catch up for a bit. There one of my gal's guy friends met up with us and told us to come to a new bar where his friends are bartenders. This place was aout 6 blocks away, but worth the journey as all the bartenders were really cool and fun (they let me put stickers all over them) and they actually got me buzzed. Now, those of you who don't know me don't think this is a big deal but I can guarantee you that my friends who read this will really freak out. I barely EVER drink, and I've only experienced a buzz once before and that was like 2 years ago...so it's a big deal. How they got me was that they said they loved mixing together flavors (experimenting) so they made me this delicious martini (my first martini ever) and then this second drink that was quite good with cherries. I started feeling the effects which was an interesting feeling (especially since I'm not used to it) and managed to only embarrass myself once by yelling out something that I normally wouldn't share about myself to my gal's friend and then gasping...but luckily my friends and I covered it up well, haha. After that we left for the third place to go dancing and my gal's friend decided he had a crush on me. That was flattering and all, but this dude seriously has no clue how to "work it" with a girl you like...he was just really weird and pretty much blew any chance he would ever have with me. O boys, can't you get it? After that we left kinda early (we're old and lame, what can I say) but it was overall a great night. I definitely want to go back to that bar even though I'm sure they'll only get me into more trouble. When I got home I couldn't sleep and wound up finally crashing at 5am...blah.

I have to say that in the "biggest party night of the year" aspect that I do not agree with that. We went to popular spots that are always crowded on weekends, but there was barely no one out on Wednesday which I thought was really odd. I still vote for St. Patty's Day as the biggest and best party night of the year :).

Thanksgiving was okay...I wasn't feeling that great (lack of sleep and etc) as my sister and I went to my Aunt's where we traditionally celebrate. It's always good to see the family, but certain members more than others. I have some realtives who just like to make everything really negative, and like to tlak down to me and others and it's gotten really old. Sometimes I wish before a family function that I could just make myself into being an oblivious 2 year old again who just thinks everything is fun and family get togethers are a positive experience. Reality is such an a-hole. The positive/scary thing is that my cousin who is obsessed with NKOTB taught her 2 year old to sing along to them on their karaoke machine...it was quite adorable.

Well I think I've exhausted myself for now...tonight I have to figure out what the heck I'm wearing to a wedding my family is going to tomorrow...it's one of those weddings where you haven't seen the person in years, so I can't say I'm thrilled to go but ah well. Then I plan on major recooping/chillaxing tonight. I have so much school work to do but in reality nothing will probably get done this weekend...I'm just too tired! Three weeks til the end of my first semester :)!

Weekend Recap

Well I had a spontaneously cool weekend. Friday night I wound up deciding to face the snow and drive to DC to meet up with a good friend. Before heading out, we decided to visit her old roomie who was house-sitting in a very weird yet cool house. On the way to the house we got lost and wound up literally driving in circles around DC for an hour :). It was worth the journey though as this house was literally WEIRD. You walk in and the living room has furniture which looks like a polished psychiatrists office...deep red in color and not actually comfortable to sit in at all. Then, upstairs the one bedroom has a huge gap between the wall and ceiling so the person who grew up there never had noise privacy. You walk into the office and there's a ladder which leads to a loft which is used as the third bedroom. In here lives a 6'2" boy, and I don't know how he does it because I would have had to crawl to get through that space. The master bedroom has a column smack dab in the middle of the room that you have to walk around to get to anything, and the occupants of such room are artists which is obvious as their work is EVERYWHERE. I was seriously creeped out by this house. After we left we made it out to the bar and I started talking to a guy about tattoos...I've already become one of THOSE people within two weeks of getting my first one. We exchanged numbers but he hasn't called which doesn't surprise me...especially since he knew I lived an hour away and he doesn't drive (I always find the winners!) don't ask how but I somehow wound up staying awake until 4am that morning...I'm proud of my old self :).

Saturday once I got home I slept for 3 hours (much needed) and proceeded to chillax and gab on the phone(also needed) while slightly doing homework (very needed). Sunday was then spent utilizing a good eleven+ hours to complete two of my papers for school which I had been procrastinating on all semester. Will I ever learn? Probably not, but hey, at least I got them done (of course they were done last night at midnight, but still). Of course, the highlight of Sunday was the fantabulous Ravens game where we crushed the Eagles...I get even more joy out of this then when we crush other teams because I had to go to college with a bunch of their obnoxious fans :).

Not sure if I can find the words

Saw this today at a supermarket...they cost 50 cents.



Note that it was pretty darn close to the "bling" machine where kids can be gangstas for a mere two quarters. We all know J.C. was a baller, right kids?

Bu But Butt

Had to share this randomly hilarious story for you kids. Last week, three of my galpals came down and we went out dancing. Well at the last bar where we were, this dude starts dancing with me and asks how to get my number. I say "well I'll give you my number but you have to dance with my friends" and he agrees so, like a dumb@$$, I give him my number and he proceeds to dance with my friends. Well he then decides to try to get skeezy on my friends by putting his hand on their butts...not cool!

Well I thought I was off the hook because I hadn't heard from him but then last night I get a random text asking whats up. He then said his name and that he was from the bar last week. I thought ooo geez...how smooth, first you try to creep on my friends then you wait a week then send me a lame text...what a winner. He asked if I wanted to get coffee sometime this weekend, and I'm so proud of my response which was:

"Actually no because you touched my friends butts."

He texted back "wow" and apologized for "being offensive" ha. LAME-O

Men, please please please stop this behavior. Guys like this are just bad for your species :)

Pot@$$holes

So no longer are they potholes, but pot@$$holes! Here's what one did to my poor tire today...

And yea, I wasn't even in the city or anything. I was in suburbia on a main street that is always congested because you take it to get to the highway. AHHH! My car now has a doughnut on until Monday when they can order me a real tire again.

Well I just had time for that short rant but hopefully I'll have another funny life update soon.

Awesome Comparison

So my ghetto fabulous friend and I were discussing Carla from Top Chef and she brought up an awesome point...she looks just like Sam the Eagle!

Thank you for the great contribution to the blog :)

Has everybody heard about da bird?

So apparently the bird look-alike thing is a new phenomenon. I watched the Season 5 premiere of Top Chef: New York last night which confirmed this. The one contestant Carla looks like she should have feathers, and/or her head in the ground.

Another thing is what Gail was wearing...okay, since when did Todd Oldhman curtains become acceptable attire for tv?

Other news on Top Chef...one of the girls is from my hometown, so I really wanted to root for her. She made this extremely difficult because she was actually really annoying. I am opting instead to root for Gene, who worked his way up from washing dishes and never went to culinary school. You gotta give him props for that.

Turkraziness

Hello all,

well it just hit me, as I was sitting in my cube and doing pretty much everything but work, that Thanksgiving is a mere 15 days away. Holy crap. Then I thought, that's Turkrazy! So that is my latest term. Turkrazy can be used to describe the maddness that is the month of November, and the fabulous Thanksgiving holiday. You may think this is a weird term, but before you know it you will see a turkey decal on someone's window and without thinking will exclaim "o man, that's Turkrazy." Get used to it, pass it around, etc etc. It's fun to say. That's my contribution to make your life that much better :). You're welcome.

Michelle Obama in yellow

Okay, now even though Michelle Obama did help inspire this blog with her original dragon on pleather ensemble, this yellow one may just take the cake. All I can think of is Big Bird, or the man in the yellow hat from Curious George (which does work out nicely because Obama's ears do look quite monkeyish). Haha, don't hate me Obama lovers! This is all in good fun :). You shouldn't get into politics if you don't like ridicule anyway...you know I'm right ;).

Murphy's Law

So this morning I am a hott mess. First things first, I lost my Debit card the other night. This is really bad because I use my debit card for EVERYTHING...I'm one of "those" people who don't carry cash. Luckily I actually do have $27 in my wallet, much more then usual, so I can survive today without the debit. I'm probably going to still head home and look for it though.

I had to come to one of my jobs this morning to meet with someone who is not yet here...judging by my morning this far they probably won't show up. Truth be told I'm not in a friendly mood anyway. While Driving to work someone totally cut me off so I slammed on the brakes and skidded a little bit and by some sort of miracle did not hit their car (but was way too close for comfort). I get shaken up so easily that I'm still sort of recooping, and my stomach hurts (also common when my nerves are ruined). Then, at work, I find my ATM card in my wallet (different from my debit card because I can ONLY use it on ATM's) and try to put it in the ATM machine...and guess what, it totally jams the machine. They got it out thank goodness but it's bent so I can't use it again. What a morning! I know what brought this all on...I'm seeing one of my ex boyfriends today.

I dated him last summer for a little over a month and saw him again in January and we'll just say things didn't go so well. We did talk about it and ended things on respectable terms but I haven't seen or talked to him since then. Out of the blue yesterday I get an email from him...I was literally shocked. I decided "what the hell" and at the idea of possibly being friends suggested we meet up...well even weirder we discovered that we were both traveling today anyway and to the same town. So yea, we're meeting up in this town before our plans. Should be interesting to say the least...

Okay so this blog today has been way too serious, so let me share my funny anecdote for the day which started the series of "bad" events this morning but in reality is just amusing. I love frosted mini wheats, and had purchased them at the store, so this morning before work they were exactly what I wanted. I opened the pantry to find that no, I had not purchased frosted mini wheats but instead had purchased shredded wheat...no frost! WTF?! I was really mad at myself. I actually tried a few of these things which tasted like cardboard. YUCK! It made me think about who actually purposefully purchases this cereal? I'm thinking someone really boring...like Matt Damon, or half of Congress. Yea, they're keeping the shredded wheat alive.

Anyways that's it for now..I will update again this weekend most definitely :)!

Blogging from my cube

Well I'm at work and supposed to be working but I am already way too consumed with this blog. I am so hyped to have two official "followers"...you know that term totally makes me feel like a cult leader and I'm digging it! Ha...followers, we will all gather tonight at 5pm to drink our special punch...

Anyway, as promised I wanted to share one of my most recent dating stories for your entertainment...We went out to dinner and I spent an hour and half with him total...arguably one of the longest hour and a halfs of my life. He is from the South, and I am in no way hating on the South, but he was SO skiddish. okay dude, we're outside of Baltimore. We weren't even in the city on this date, we were in a nice area with plenty of pedestrian walkways. Literally, he was afraid to walk across these with me. I would just start walking and he'd freak out saying that he didn't think the cars would stop. All I could think of was the scene from Elf where Will Farrell is trying to cross the streets of New York City and exclaims "The yellow ones don't stop!" Men, if you are reading this, that is so unattractive. I hate feeling like the one who wears the pants in the relationship...and feeling like I'm with a little kid whose afraid to cross the street. Suck it up and just cross! haha. Anyway after dinner and seeing this behavior I used the good ole homework excuse (note that I have not adjusted to proper Grad school behavior and will almost ALWAYS blow off homework for a good time) so that was a crock. It got me out of the date though, se la vie.

My first post :)

Hi all,

Well I decided to start a blog. Will anyone actually read this? Who knows. All I know is that I have really random thoughts, and sometimes they're actually kinda funny...so why not capture them on a blog? It's going to be scary, random, and ridiculous...but also should be fun.

I have to first thank Michelle Obama for inspiring this blog creation. I voted for McCain actually but still have to give her credit because she wore the worst possible thing on National Television last night when they were announcing her and the First Lady to be. Okay, her dress looked like a dragon farted onto a piece of pleather. Not smart. Access Hollywood showed what the dress was SUPPOSED to look like on a size 2 model...and trust me I am not a size two and I am all about women looking awesome no matter their size but o Michelle, what will we do with you? All I wanted to do was grab an extinguisher.

Other then that thought, a bit about me. I titled this blog "On the Upcline" because upcline is one of the many words I have invented. That's right kids, I have my own vocabulary. One of my professors just said this week that the professors at Harvard and the other smart schools get tenure for making up terms...so I'm on my way to teaching at Harvard! Right now I'm in Grad School and working full time because I'm crazzzzzy. Nah, life is getting good. Holidays are coming up which should be a key time for lots of funny life activity. I LOVE the Ravens...so don't hate. I also love "I Love Lucy" and know a little too much about that show. I'm an interesting quirky mix of old-fashioned meets the 21st century and kid at heart meets 90 year old woman. What can I say, you'd have to get to know me (which is actually really hard). I date on and off but relationships are RARE. I also plan to use my dating stories as a source of humor for my audience :). I love to laugh, and find humor in almost anything and everything.

Anyway, comment on this or any future blogs if you actually read...I'll be so happy to know I have a reader :)!