Okay so it's been WAY too long since I've written anything. I have really failed. I'm like the kid that gets picked last in gym class...or the pimple that won't go away on prom night....or that itch you can't scratch in public. I apologize, and will try to remedy this with a post tonight.
Tonight I was talking to a friend of mine who lives in Amish country. Yes, she's that cool. She said the following statement: "It's Amish Sunday, every horse and buggy is on the road!" As many of you know, I have a random and quirky mind. This caused me to think "What would happen if Amish went wild?" Here's what I came up with.
1. They'd turn on a light
2. Amish women would expose skin (i.e. an elbow, or even worse...a shoulder!)
3. Hay wouldn't just be for horses (if ya know what I mean)
4. They'd be like "F*** You, Butter!" And switch to I can't Believe it's Not Butter
5. They'd be like "F*** You, God!" and skip church on Sunday
6. Instead of riding in the buggy they'd give the buggy a ride
7. They'd be like "Dude I blacked out last night!" when in reality they just never lit any candles
8. Instead of just cows they'd milk everything just for the hell of it (mmm mm mm for the smell of it....Shoop reference)
9. Amish guys would walk up to girls and be like "Hey girl, I wanna go "pasteurize" tonight...get it? say it slowly...bam!
10. 'Rumspringa' will become a beloved cocktail
Those are just a few of the ways that Amish could go wild...hope you enjoyed :)
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